Ovechkin Fight: It’s a Real Head-Scratcher

Guys, it’s easy to be disheartened after a loss like Monday’s thrashing. We get it. It was painful, to be sure, and the frustration was clearly felt by our men in red.

And yet… we can’t seem to get over that one-two-three KO Ovi issued to Svenchnikov in the first period. What’s the story with that one? Continue reading “Ovechkin Fight: It’s a Real Head-Scratcher”

Not Schmidtty!?!

This is not a prank. Nate Schmidt, he of the goofy grin and excellent knowledge of Taylor Swift lyrics, has been suspended 20 — yes, TWENTY — games for violating the terms of the NHL/NHLPA Performance Enhancing Substances Program.

We know. We can’t believe it either. Continue reading “Not Schmidtty!?!”

Wanna Be Like Ovi? Here’s How!

If you’re reading this, you were probably a hockey fan before our beloved Caps won the Stanley Cup this last spring. But for some of you —  because hockey isn’t exactly mainstream in many parts of the world — your fandom may have made you feel like some kind of subversive weirdo. Continue reading “Wanna Be Like Ovi? Here’s How!”

Ten Things To Do In the Offseason

When the alcohol-fueled haze of the Stanley Cup celebrations finally wound down (FiCP Editor’s Note: Wait… you aren’t still celebrating? Go get a beer and find a fountain, cuz we are!!) I found myself wondering what to do with all the time I usually spend watching my beloved Capitals play hockey. Sure, there are development camp updates that I can follow, but it’s just not the same. So I came up with a list of ten things to do instead of watch hockey. You’re welcome.

1: Track trade and signing deals for your favorite team

Wondering when the heck the Caps are gonna seal the deal and sign Tommy Wilson already?? How about the drama with Karlsson that went down this summer http://www.sportingnews.com/ca/nhl/news/ottawa-senators-lawsuit-monika-caryk-mike-hoffman-erik-melinda-karlsson-court-order-cyber-bullying/1ukpf6sleaybm162h1wo4zxcav? These are all things you can obsess over online in your ice-cold air-conditioned office, instead of the on-ice drama in a freezing cold arena. See? They’re like, totes the same.

2: Re-watch the Glory Games

Raise your hand if you haven’t gone back and watched Game 5 while drinking a few brewskis this summer.

Now, the rest of you, look around and see all the liars.

If you’re really a fan, you’ve done this, and it’s glorious. You can fast-forward the commercials since the game is on DVR (and seriously, if we had to sit through that “Real smoooooth” commercial again we were gonna hurl the TV out the window anyways). And since we all know what’s going to happen, the stress is gone. I can now watch the game without ferociously twirling my hair while pacing a track into the living room rug!

3: Get some sun

The whole reason hockey isn’t on TV is because it’s summertime. Ice isn’t real compatible with the temps we’ve been experiencing this summer… with the exception of cooling a fruity cocktail by the pool, amirite??

It’s the offseason! Go to the beach! Get some color on that pasty complexion. Or head to a pool so you don’t have to deal with the sand that always finds its way into your swimsuit lining. (How does it do that??)

4: Exercise

Hockey season is rough on our bodies: the stress, the cold, the liver damage we incur in the post-season… That Ovi jersey was starting to look a little snug, and since you don’t have the excuse of wearing pads underneath, it’s time to go outside and work some of that off. If you live in a place that’s hotter than Hades on a heatwave (:::cough cough Florida sucks:::) join a gym. Or take our suggestion of going for a swim. Either way, get your tuchus off the couch so that you can safely imbibe and laze around when the season starts up again.

5: Catch up on Must-See TV

I don’t know about you, but when the season starts, our family pretty much stops watching all the shows people talk about. Sure, the kids demand that I watch PJ Masks at all hours, but after dinner when the good stuff is getting aired, we are watching our boys play hockey. There are a few exceptions (Game of Thrones needs to be viewed unspoiled, after all), but for the most part we fall behind on our pop culture education. So use this summer to narrow down your Netflix cue. I, for one, have totally caught up on my Supernatural habit, and the husband got to watch Parks and Rec for the first time.

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(Editor’s Note: FiCP needs to apologize. The writer was unable to think of any more ways to kill time in the summer. Hockey is her life. Hockey is her love. Hockey is the air that she breathes and the thing that she dreams about at night. Except for that one time she became best friends with Amy Poehler during a drunken stolen coasters caper… that dream was awesome.)

Wanna Touch the Cup?…. Too Bad.

Caps Fan Fest is always a good time. We’ve been several years in a row, and there is usually something for everyone: bounce houses, a slapshot “contest,” free prize wheels for people to spin, and all the Dunkin’ Donuts you could ever want. (Nothing’s better than hockey… other than caffeinated hockey.) And today’s Fan Fest had a lot of those things, but it had something else: THE STANLEY CUP.

This is not news. If you didn’t know Lord Stanley’s Cup was going to be the main draw at this year’s Fest, then we’d like you to direct us to the rock you’ve been hiding under, because it’s probably nice and cool under there.

Fans started lining up as early as 4:30 am to get their picture taken with that glorious silver goblet… and it’s a good thing they did. People stood for hours in 98* heat, sweating rivers under the blazing sun for their 5 seconds of fame. But for many, that wasn’t good enough. Many of the people that had started lining up at 9:30am (which was still earlier than the event was supposed to begin) did not get their chance to embrace The Cup That Ovi Slept With.

Kettler officials started telling people the line was closed long before 1:15pm, which was the posted time they announced they would do so.  Hundreds of people didn’t get their chance to see their sweaty, glistening face reflected in glory.

And I’m not gonna lie: I was really, really, REALLY disappointed. I couldn’t help looking at all the other fans with a bitter hatred: their lives allowed them to come early enough. I had to pick up my stupid husband who chose an 11:40am flight into DCA. My kids weren’t gonna wait in line for hours in that heat, and I wasn’t gonna ask them to. It was one of the only times in my entire fandom that I resented the other fans, and inwardly questioned their authenticity. (“Those bandwagoners are ruining it for everyone. They certainly weren’t here last year…” were a few of my kinder thoughts.)

So I didn’t get my picture with the cup. I’m devastated. I kept glancing longingly in its direction, fantasizing about just making a run for it and tackling it in the hopes that someone would capture the whole thing on film before I got arrested.

And let’s not even get started on the prices they’re demanding at Carlson’s event in Bethesda. Bless that man for doing a great thing for charity, but ain’t nobody got the dough for that.

So here’s my plea to those in charge: Please. Please please PLEASE please give us another opportunity to hug that blessed vessel. Too many of us were there that left feeling like we’d been shafted. And I even have a cute baby (whose middle name happens to be Alexander after The Gr8 One) who was all ready to plop his chubby little buns in there for the photo opportunity of a lifetime. Instead, we had to settle for this one:

Orlov? More like Or-Love!

Dmitry Orlov is having a pretty good year. #caps need him, Osh, and Ovi to keep it up for the playoffs.

Anyone else loving how Orlov’s playing these days?

The unfortunately-mustachioed defenseman has really stepped it up these last few weeks, and while there are stats that back this assertion up, you don’t need to refer to them to see that he’s en fuego. Oh, what’s that you say? You don’t believe this fan-girl who gets the vapors from just about anyone wearing a Capitals uniform? Fine. Here’s some of those stats: Continue reading “Orlov? More like Or-Love!”

Remember Guys: They’re Only Human

Although as of late we’ve been riding the gravy train of awesomeness (Ovi’s 600th goal! The good games we played against Winnipeg and the Islanders!) there’s been so much talk about Holtby’s troubles with his headspace, and Oshie’s drought that makes the Sahara look like the Everglades, and why in God’s name does Djoos keep getting scratched…. I could go on.

As fans, this is what makes sports interesting. I mean, yeah, we like hockey because it’s a fast-paced game that engages people from all walks of life, but we also love to just talk about it. We love to analyze what makes our team work (and what doesn’t…), who’s hot, who’s not, which trade was awful, and why ad infinitum. Continue reading “Remember Guys: They’re Only Human”

Caps Fans Care

Every now and then, when an opposing team scores – in just about any arena – there are a number of fans who think it’s cool to yell “Who Cares!?!?” as the announcer names the person responsible. It sounds something like this:

Announcer: “Washington Capitals Score! Alex Ovechkin scored the goal at 12:55 in the period, with assists from Kuznetzov and T.J. Oshie, making it 1-0 in the first!”

(Opposing) Fans: “Who Cares?!?”

And to be fair, this is yelled in the Capital One Arena just as often as other rinks, so we are just as bad as the other guys. (Well… not as bad as Penguins fans. They’re awful. They can’t help it though; they live in Pittsburgh. That would make us cranky, too.)

My point? This cheer sucks.

It doesn’t make any sense. I mean, right, you’re trying to advertise your nonchalance about finding yourself down by one during a game, because you’ll obviously tie it up. Sure. That’s, umm, important? But as a fan, you should care. You should care a lot.

Because now you’re playing one goal down, and that doesn’t always light the fire under our team’s butts like we’d like it to. Sometimes, it means we’re gonna lose. And shouting that you don’t care about that is like commenting on an online movie review for a movie you never plan on seeing. Why bother showing up, if you don’t care? Why waste the oxygen it takes to yell this nonsense?

So here’s my proposal: The next time you find yourself wanting to yell “Who Cares?!” in response to another team’s goal, don’t. Just don’t. Maybe we’ll earn a reputation for being the fans who care.

:::mic drop:::