Ovi Scores his 600th Goal!!! (Pfft. Like We’re *That* Surprised.)

On the 12th of March, while playing against the Winnipeg Jets, Alexander Ovechkin — The Great 8, The Man in The Office, The Russian Machine That Never Breaks — scored his 600th goal. This is nothing short of amazing.

Ovi, my man. Are you even human? Did you sell your soul to a crossroads demon for unholy hockey skills? (:::cough cough::: shout out to my fellow Supernatural fans). How are you this good?

I mean, look at some of his stats. It was only two years ago that the gap-toothed wonder scored his 500th NHL goal against the Ottawa Senators at a home game on January 10th, 2016. That made him the 43rd player ever to score 500 NHL goals. The 43rd. Think about how many amazing dudes play hockey for years and years without reaching that kind of milestone.

And by scoring his 600th NHL goal, Ovi becomes only the 20th player in NHL history do so.


Sorry for yelling, but come on! That’s INCREDIBLE! I mean, I just ate what was probably my 600th Thin Mint cookie, but let’s face it: Some accomplishments are just way more impressive than others.

And to top it all off, the man is only 32. He’s got plenty of hockey years left on those bionic legs. Sure, his hair is grey, but there’s only so much those brilliant Soviet Era scientists (…or the demon he sold his soul to…) could do about the aging process. Either way, someone warn Jaromir Jagr that Ovi’s comin’ up hot on his tail for his record-setting 760 career goals. (It’ll happen. Oh yes, you heard it here first. We’re calling it.)


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